Advice for Both ‘Ghosters’ and ‘Ghostees’: Which One Are You?

A study published in Telematics and Informatics provides insights into the various factors that can lead to ghosting in romantic relationships and friendships. According to Michaela Forrai, the lead author of the study at the University of Vienna, Austria, ghosting is the one-sided termination of communication without any explanation. The study was inspired by the personal experiences of the author, and it provides a comprehensive analysis of the phenomenon of ghosting.

The study highlighted several factors that can lead to ghosting in relationships:

• Relational Reasons: The ghoster’s perception of the relationship with the ghostee before ghosting may play a role in ghosting. For example, ghosters may not view the romantic relationship as serious, leading them to opt for ghosting as a way to end communication.
• Situational Reasons: Ghosting can occur more frequently in some situations than in others, such as dating apps or regular co-worker interactions.
• Self-protective Reasons: Ghosters may end communication by ghosting when they feel it is a safer option than confronting the ghostee. Past abusive or disrespectful behavior by the ghostee can also play a role in this decision.
• Cognitive Reasons: A limited capacity to process information can lead to non-responsiveness and ghosting of messages.
• Self-conceptual Reasons: Individual dispositions can also play a role in ghosting. Depressive tendencies may increase the likelihood of avoidant behaviors.

The researchers conducted a two-wave panel survey to investigate the phenomenon of ghosting, examining ghosting behavior within friendships and romantic relationships. The survey included well-being indicators and was repeated after four months to assess predictive factors and the long-term impact of ghosting.

The study uncovered several interesting findings regarding the predictors of ghosting:

1. Communication Overload Increases the Likelihood of Ghosting Romantic Partners but Not Friends: Higher demands of interaction in romantic relationships can be difficult to manage, thereby making ghosting a more viable option.
2. Depressive Tendencies Did Not Contribute Significantly to Ghosting Behavior: The assumption that such tendencies would increase avoidant behavior was found to be untrue.
3. Individuals with High Self-esteem Were More Prone to Ghosting Friends: Self-esteem did not play a significant role in ghosting romantic partners, and this disparity might be due to the fact that people tend to have more friends than partners, making it easier for those with high self-esteem to selectively maintain contact.

For those who tend to ghost others, Forrai emphasized three key takeaways from the research:

• Maintain social connections. Depriving oneself of social connections can adversely affect overall well-being.
• Communicate transparently by letting the other person know even when one is busy or overwhelmed to avoid guilt and negative repercussions in the long run.
• Reflect on one’s actions for both protecting ghostees and maintaining one’s own mental health.

For individuals who have been the victim of ghosting, Forrai had the following advice:

• Redirect attention to other social connections or activities to avoid feeling isolated.
• Distract oneself by engaging in other activities or focusing on other aspects of life to lessen the impact of being ghosted.
• Do not take it personally, as there may be external factors that contribute to ghosting.

Overall, ghosting can have a devastating effect on mental health and social connections. Having an honest and transparent communication strategy can go a long way in preventing ghosting and maintaining strong relationships.

You can find a full interview with Michaela Forrai about her study on ghosting at  therapytips.org

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