Last month, my friend of ten years reached out to make dinner plans. It may sound like a regular thing to do with a pal…but this was the first time I was meeting Jay in person. See, our friendship of a decade had been cultivated via screen. We’d only ever spoken online through social media after “meeting” as struggling college students who had a common obsession interest in Glee—we hit it off immediately in a chatroom dedicated to the silly singing show. And even as we hit milestones—college, graduation, first jobs—without ever hanging IRL, we stayed friends, checking in constantly during the pandemic, celebrating our career wins or comforting each other through loss.
But when a work conference pulled Jay into New York City for the first time this November, we were suddenly going to be taking our online friendship into the wild. It made me think about the nature of our digital relationship and the significance of this first meeting. What if things went south? What if I wasn’t what she pictured? What if she thought I was a fraud? What if our friendship was merely something I made up in my head? And most importantly, were we really even friends?
To put it mildly, I was anxious. The idea of this meet-up had devolved into a test I so desperately wanted to pass. And then, waiting outside the restaurant, I heard someone timidly call out my name. I looked up, and there was Jay. After ten years, we were finally face to face. At first, we stood there awkwardly wondering if we should shake on it (like old business pals) or hug it out. We went with the latter, and my anxiety washed away as we embraced, reminding me that she was not actually a stranger. Once seated, we hit a rhythm, catching up on our families, friends, jobs, our lack of a dating life and so forth without missing a beat. It was just as easy as an online conversation, except we got to show our real-life reactions and personality quirks.
Initially, we were going to part ways after dinner—a safe, non-awkward out for both of us. A few days prior, though, Jay had mentioned trying to catch a Broadway show, but for fear of coming on too strong, I didn’t push it. But as I found myself opening up more at dinner, I think maybe Jay noticed too, and it was enough for her to ask to me to join her to one of her favorite shows.
Tyler Fields is your internet guru, delving into the latest trends, developments, and issues shaping the online world. With a focus on internet culture, cybersecurity, and emerging technologies, Tyler keeps readers informed about the dynamic landscape of the internet and its impact on our digital lives.
