Home Entertainment Now That Aliens Are Real, I Watched the Worst UFO Documentary on Prime Video to Get Ready

Now That Aliens Are Real, I Watched the Worst UFO Documentary on Prime Video to Get Ready

On July 26, 2023, the whole world was captivated as David Grusch, a former U.S. intelligence official, testified before a House committee, revealing a shocking truth. Grusch claimed that aliens were living among us, hidden away in government facilities by corrupt officials. Although similar claims had been made before, this time it felt different. Perhaps it was because it was the most recent revelation, and the nation was shaken to its core. In the midst of this existential crisis, a fortunate portion of the population, including myself, still had an active Prime membership, which gave us access to Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind: Contact Has Begun. The Hollywood Reporter described this film as “too impassioned in its nuttiness to be a purely cynical, Scientology-style sham.” Little did I know that I would glean an important lesson from it.

Prologue: The Power of Choices

Steven Greer, the creator of Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind, is an extraordinary individual. As a former emergency room doctor, he possesses impressive intelligence and notable stature. However, he is also a prominent ufologist, dedicated to uncovering the truth about alien intelligence and transparency. Greer’s film, available for free streaming on platforms like Prime Video, presents itself as a documentary, featuring actual footage of mysterious events. It claims to expose the government’s hidden truths and features a narrator who surprises viewers. Contrary to expectations, it includes a surprising amount of Kevin Spacey. It’s quite an experience, but I never let overwhelming content deter me. After all, I’ve performed comedy in Florida and even dated your mom. In anticipation of concrete evidence of extraterrestrial visitations, I decided to watch Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind. Here’s what I discovered.

Part One: The Significance of the Color of Your Kettle

Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind is produced by 1091 Pictures, a subsidiary of Chicken Soup for the Soul Entertainment. The production company has dabbled in both prestigious Werner Herzog films and lower-quality content featuring actors like Danny Glover, who seem perpetually tired. The film begins with an opening shot reminiscent of an old computer monitor and a quote from physicist Paul Dirac, known for his controversial ideas about antimatter. However, the most notable aspect is the choice of font, which unmistakably mirrors that of The Matrix poster. This use of a Matrix font to set the stage for a film about an altered reality is a bit hackneyed, akin to wearing a t-shirt that screams, “Ask Me What DMT Tastes Like.”

The lack of self-awareness is especially ironic considering the director’s advocacy for meditation. This foreshadows what lies ahead, starting with the narrator. Without previous knowledge, one might mistakenly believe that Jeremy Piven is providing the voiceover. The narrator opens with the line, “Something strange is happening,” while showcasing stock footage of Earth. It’s a somewhat embarrassing use of stock footage to highlight the strange events occurring on our planet. The narrator then proceeds to claim that we are living through an unprecedented moment in history, seemingly unaware of the release of questionable films such as Jaws 3-D, the Lou Ferrigno Hercules, and Porky’s 2 within a short timeframe back in 1983. The narrator goes on to assert that politicians are finally acknowledging alien visitations on Earth. However, the twist comes when these same politicians suddenly view the extraterrestrials as a threat, leading to the creation of the Space Force. To address the perplexed viewers, the film reassures them by introducing Steven Greer as the man who has been warning us about this for decades. Greer himself appears on-screen, stating, “If you’re seeing this, it is because I am either dead, or have been entrapped, or have disappeared.” Fortunately, none of those scenarios are true.

However, the narrator goes on to claim that our modern society is descending into decadence, narcissism, depravity, and nihilism. To illustrate this, the documentary includes a four-year-old clip of the infamous Cash Me Ousside girl from Dr. Phil. This attempt to link the corruption of human potential with the actions of a young girl is questionable, especially coming from someone who was associated with Entourage, both the series and the movie adaptation. It becomes apparent at this moment that the narrator is none other than Jeremy Piven, adding another layer of audacity to his claims.

Part Two: The Quest for Legitimacy in the Batcave

Throughout the film, Greer presents his testimony through multiple camera angles, making it challenging to focus on the content. That difficulty is further amplified by the uncanny resemblance of the set to the Batcave from The Dark Knight. The ceiling, composed of numerous panels resembling X-ray images, creates an intriguing yet distracting visual. Greer asserts proudly that he has prepared briefings for every U.S. president since Bill Clinton. However, it’s important to recognize that merely sending a list of reasons why you should be someone’s friend does not guarantee a friendship, as my own childhood attempt with Brent Spiner taught me.

Greer explains that the secretive organizations responsible for alien encounters operate outside the reach of the President and Congress. This implies a suspicious connection to the judicial branch. While American politics is undoubtedly complex, the notion of “Amy Coney Barrett taking over the Men in Black” is undoubtedly an attention-grabbing pitch. Greer then suggests that our damaged relationship with extraterrestrials can be repaired by reaching out directly to these civilizations, assuring them of our peaceful intentions. However, this approach raises concerns about truthfulness. The film counteracts these concerns by bombarding viewers with four minutes of blurry UFO footage, reminiscent of the early days of camera technology. It’s crucial to remain attentive during this segment, as Greer proceeds to compare himself and his fellow free thinkers to the Civil Rights activists of the 1960s, even invoking the name of Martin Luther King. Perhaps this is why aliens are hesitant to make contact.

 

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