Making friends while growing older — there’s an app for that

SWISHER — Less than a month before caucus day in Iowa, a new candidate is throwing its hat into the ring — but not for president.

With a simple platform, Wyzr Friends (pronounced “wiser”) hopes to do one thing: decrease loneliness among those over 40 in a world that has become increasingly isolated.

Now two months into beta testing with early adopters, two San Diego women with no background in software development are launching the smartphone app for folks around their age. They hope the app, launching in Iowa on caucus day Jan. 15, will combat social isolation the World Health Organization has deemed a new health priority — one community at a time.

“We are on the same trajectory as a presidential campaign going state by state,” said Taylor Jay, who in her 40s is the co-founder of Wyzr Friends. “Iowa has always been a predictor of what’s to come in the country. It’s much more community (oriented.)”

How it works

The new app, available now for free download via iPhone’s App Store or Google Play on Android phones, has similarities to platforms like Bumble Friends — a spinoff of a popular dating app that lets users find platonic matches instead of romantic ones. But unlike most other apps out there, Wyzr Friends targets a more mature demographic of adults — people in their 40s and up.

Users, who can sign up as individuals or as a couple with their partner, make profiles that list their top interests as well as health and wellness goals. Then they can scroll through other profiles in their feed, giving a “thumbs-up” or “thumbs-down” to indicate their interest in potential friend matches.

Those who feel like age should be just a number can take comfort in the fact that ages on profiles are listed in a range: under 50, 50s, 60s, etc.

After matching with others who have similar interests, users can start a conversation, make plans to meet up, send a “Friend Blast” for impromptu outings and even arrange a carpool. With a specified radius and other filters, users can seek someone to try a new restaurant, see a movie, go to a concert or play pickleball.

“It’s harder at our age to meet people. With the matching feature, you’re meeting people based on their interests, so it takes some of that awkwardness out of meeting people,” said co-founder Carolyn Kelly, who is in her 50s. “It’s not limited to your immediate social circle. You have the ability to meet someone brand new.”

Designed by older adults for older adults, ease of use it top of mind with built-in tutorials and an email support line answered by the creators themselves.

Users can find extra security chatting with verified users, who are vetted in the app by a reputable ID verification company with a real-time selfie and their ID to ensure that users aren’t chatting with scammers or bots. Verified users receive a badge on their profile, similarly to other social media platforms.

The need for new social opportunities

When Kelly moved back to her hometown in California after three decades away, she was an empty nester. Other apps to meet people were either too focused on dating or oriented to a younger demographic.

“This appealed to me because I saw a need,” she said.

Now with 1,500 registered users, Wyzr Friends has attracted many types of people including empty nesters, those who have moved to a new city and those who work remotely with fewer opportunities to get out of the house.

Some users may crave emotional connections after losing a spouse. Others may just need a buddy to run errands with.

“We have some really funny user profiles where they’re like ‘I’m sick of sitting at home talking to my cats,’ or ‘I want someone to go to Costco with,’” said Jay.

For Des Moines user Mary Melvin, now a local ambassador for the app, the need for new friends came after she moved to Iowa for the first time.

In Connecticut, she was well established on boards and committees and had social circles built over decades, even after some of her interests went to the wayside to raise her children. But after her husband took a new job in Iowa, she didn’t realize how hard it would be to replicate it.

She joined a country club, took up tennis and connected with local arts groups, but finding matches in her specific interests was more challenging. And many around her age are entering new phases of life as their last children leave the house or as they move to new places to be near family.

“I was connected to a few people here and there, but the most meaningful thing is trying to find people that have similar interests,” said Melvin, 52. “You can try to become involved in an organization, but sometimes it’s already established. Sometimes it’s hard to break in.”

After 25 years raising her children, she had to focus on what made her happy: being around art, speaking French and traveling. The app, tailored around interests, makes that easier.

“There’s that loss, trying to find how to adjust to that next phase in life,” she said. “It’s a lonely thing because it’s a very personal thing — trying to find fulfillment for yourself and connecting with people who bring out the best in you.”

A new type of ‘senior center’

When Pat Meier returned to Cedar Rapids in 2013 after many years away, she had to find a way to meet new friends, too. And right after the 2008 flood, Cedar Rapids didn’t have a senior center.

Before long, she became involved in helping the Bridge to Opportunities for Older Adults develop more robust programming through Cedar Rapids’ Life Enrichment Center with regular meetings at the Four Oaks Bridge building, 2100 First Ave. NE, and off-site. The program for older adults offers weekly meetings on Monday and Thursday, as well as nature walks and group outings.

In recent years, she’s also developed Facebook groups for people her age to connect, like Cedar Rapids 55 Plus.

The World Health Organization says social isolation can lead to health complications comparable with other well-known risk factors like smoking, heavy drinking, inactivity and obesity. In older adults, the risk for isolation is more pronounced.

“Depression and anxiety diagnoses have skyrocketed in seniors since the pandemic,” said Meier, 75. “The thing that got people through COVID the best was technology. But the group that benefited the least from it was seniors.”

In addition to barriers using technology, a lack of transportation and difficulty going to a group alone for the first time are cited as other barriers to making friends the old fashioned way. But even when people in the same age group are all together, Meier said finding someone interested in going to a show or dinner that night can be challenging.

To help, she’s made group bookings to see local performances and has organized “hometown tourist” activities that bring out different folks for topics like history and birding. She thinks common interests are a key to bringing people together in a meaningful way.

There can also be a stigma associated with going to the “senior center,” she said.

Aging differently

With opportunities shared via mail, email and social media platforms, connecting older adults today in Cedar Rapids faces a big challenge in finding a central communication channel to learn more about the opportunities that exist, said Mayor Tiffany O’Donnell.

She hears from those in their 50s, 60s and 70s who say that it can be difficult to meet new friends, especially for those not living in retirement communities.

Programming in the city, such as classes and trips through departments like Parks and Recreation and the library, are promoted through the city’s seasonal Play! guide.

Private sector opportunities range from Smithfield Center pickleball and Ellis golf leagues to music and travel tours through various organizations focusing on age-diverse programming. O’Donnell said many or her older constituents can connect through neighborhood associations or by volunteering with a host of programs like the city’s Municipal Volunteer Program or United Way.

She said the city’s Age-Friendly Action Plan, approved by Cedar Rapids City Council in September 2022, gives a good starting point to address social isolation challenges by recognizing that a thriving community centers around fostering social connections and inclusivity — not just infrastructure.

“People are aging differently today. They reject the idea of the ‘senior center’ of the past,” she said. “People are looking for way to be social and active. It’s, frankly, why people are living better and longer.”

Comments: Features reporter Elijah Decious can be reached at [email protected] or (319) 398-8340.