Snapchat’s astrological profiles might be the pandemic escapism we need

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Snap says the feature is meant to to “kickstart rich, meaningful conversations about your friendships.” And the profiles are surprisingly in-depth. If you’re used to back-of-the-magazine horoscopes or even Co-Star’s pithy notifications, the Snapchat-created profiles are something else entirely. 

The profiles generate an assessment based on ten “planetary dimensions.” I still don’t know what that means, but it’s without a doubt the lengthiest horoscope I’ve encountered.  For example, in the 1,200 word Snap-created profile for me and my partner, I learned that we “get along easily,” but also “may trigger each other in unexpected and powerful ways.” Our “social lives mesh easily” and our “vibes here are super strong.” Do I know what any of this really means? No. Did I need Snapchat to tell me this? Not really! But it’s a whole lot better than more doomscrolling.

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