The national past time of this grey and miserable country is drinking. It’s so encrusted into the corners of the national psyche that people were more than happy to risk their lives going to the pub during a pandemic, so they can drink the stale beer and smell the staler piss.
For those of you looking to see Watch Dogs Legion’s London as a true Londoner, I present to you the humble bar crawl. Trekking over these 23 locations will not only net you a deeper understanding of the city and its people, it’ll also get you an achievement too.
To find the pubs you need, you can see them broken down by borough below. Simply follow the waypoints marked on each map to find the various, suspiciously similar pubs scattered across Britain. I think Weatherspoons might have made a deal with Albion.
Drinking Locations in Camden
If Watch Dogs Legion was truly accurate, there would be a couple of hundred pubs scattered across Camden, but instead there is just three, and none of them have an obsession with Amy Winehouse or live venue spaces where you can catch celebrities attempting their new material before taking it on tour.
Drinking Location #1
On Camden High Street, near the tube station is where this pub crawl begins. The Earls Fortune has a homey, bespoke feel that is almost completely ruined by this list and the amount of times you’ll find yourself in the Earl’s Fortune. But it does also have a dartboard, and if you’re looking to get that achievement, you can check our other guide to tell you which pubs to focus on.
Drinking Location #2
The Crosier and Cherry Tree is quite a nice and evocative name, which is nice because you won’t find another anywhere else in London. So, celebrate and support this local independent business with a pint or two.
Drinking Locations in Islington and Hackney
East of Camden is the long borough of Islington and Hackney. It’s a tightly packed area, with three drinking holes to wet your lips as you continue this perfectly normal tour of the city.
Drinking Location #3
The Golden Rivet is another name you might see again further down the list. This pub is nevertheless a nice enough place to get pissed, be it morning, noon, or night.
Drinking Location #4
The World of Tomorrow might be a Futurama quote, but I wouldn’t tell that to Clan Kelley. The criminal organisation are big fans of this particular establishment and don’t let just anyone drink here. It might be worth finding someone that can fit in before you go for a drink.
Drinking Location #5
FoodTown has such a nice wholesome name you might expect it to have a family-friendly mascot. It doesn’t, but you can still get pissed there, right on the edge of the Islington.
Drinking Locations in the City of London
The City of London is where the money lives. In real life, the City is remarkably devoid of humans, as it is literally mostly businesses and banks, but even if it’s just one the way home from helping the rich get richer, these suit-wearing bankers still deserve a pint or two from the only pub in the borough.
Drinking Location #6
Earls Fortune, again. It looks the same, it feels the same, and the drinks you order there will taste similarly like pixels, but it’s another pub to knock off the list.
Drinking Locations in Tower Hamlets
Bordering the City of London is Tower Hamlets, famous for its big old prison castle. Perhaps it’s the constant reminder of state-sponsored death and bondage that leads them to drink more than their rich neighbours to the west. Perhaps it’s because they’re not nearly as rich.
Drinking Location #7
The Concubine’s Wail is certainly a memorable name. It’s almost strange that no pub in Watch Dog’s Legion is named after the limbs of any former monarch like they so often are here in Old Blighty. Either way, you can find this worryingly named pub in the centre of Tower Hamlets.
Drinking Location #8
Maybe the people of Tower Hamlets are just actually depressed? First it was the Concubine’s Wail, now it’s the Drowning Post. This one over by the Thames also has a Paste Up point if you’re feeling artistic after you’re eighth drink on the list. If you’re looking to find the rest of these Paste Up points, you should check out our guide on it here.
Drinking Locations in the City of Westminster
On the opposite side of the City of London is the city of Westminster. This is the political heart of the city, and the country, so it’s no surprise at all that the place is packed with pubs. The politicians that stalk these establishments probably get their drinks subsidised as well.
Drinking Location #9
Away from the water is the pub known only as Of Songs and Barley, a lyrical name that hopefully won’t be marred by the people vomiting outside.
Drinking Location #10
The beautiful and historical Seven Dials is home to several boutiques and theatres as well as this small drinking establishment. The price is still murderous compared to the rest of the country, but at least there’s some cool holograms to drunken stare at once you leave.
Drinking Location #11
Golden Rivet, again. Not far from Trafalgar Square and a good place to rehydrate after a spot of protesting.
Drinking Location #12
Earl’s Fortune, also again. This one should probably be the first given it’s also the home of your DedSec movement, but I’m not reformatting the list now.
Drinking Location #13
The Winter Lion Pub has an oddly imperial name to it, like something where they expect you to say God Save The Queen before every sip of ale. Nevertheless, they’ll let anyone in who’s got the money.
Drinking Location #14
Right at the edge of London, apparently, is the Martlet’s Nest. You’ll see that name again, but this is the first on our tour.
Drinking Locations in Southwark
Heading over the river you’ll find plenty more drinking spots to enjoy, but don’t worry, you’re over halfway now.
Drinking Location #15
Earl’s Fortune, again. Again. What more is there to say?
Drinking Location #16
The Three Hawker Boys peddle their beer near the bridges heading back north, but there’s no turning back now. You’re six drinks in.
Drinking Location #17
I warned you that The Martlet’s Nest would make an appearance. This one sits not on the edge of the whole city but just on the edge of Southwark and Lambeth
Drinking Location #18
One of the most modern bars you’ll have access to in Watch Dogs Legion, The Mix doesn’t even have a dartboard to distract your drunken brain from the state of the world.
Drinking Locations in Lambeth
Famous for so many beautiful landmarks, Lambeth is also home to the last several pubs you’ll be visiting on this arduous drinking tour.
Drinking Location #19
Golden Rivet, again. Again. It’s just over the street from the Martlet’s Nest (in Southwark, not the city of Westminster).
Drinking Location #20
The Xcess feels like it was designed to intimidate older people, but it’s friendly enough, the beer is the same, and you can even play a game of darts if you feel like it.
Drinking Location #21
Probably the least popular haunt in the Old Smoke is the pub situated in the middle in the European Processing Centre. Here people are locked away for the world indefinitely thanks to terrible immigrant laws designed to make the environment, how shall I put this? Hostile. At least they can drink, though.
Drinking Location #22
Tucked away to the south of Lambeth is the Boxtown Bar. Made of shipping containers which is a popular building martial for bars in England for some reason (I blame Grand Designs), this place is at least unique.
Drinking Location #23
Golden Rivet, again. Again. Again. In fact, this is the second Golden Rivet in Lambeth. You can find at the southern edge of Lambeth, as you impotently search for a way out of the golden riveted city.
Drinking Locations in Nine Elms
Nine Elms is far too fancy to have any pubs or dartboards that commoners might enjoy. And at this point, you’re far too drunk anyway. It’s time to go home, have some water, and try to enjoy your virtual achievement in the morning, once the headache disappears.
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